This morning, I woke up & walked into what would be your room,
I thought of how I’d rock you, feed you, dress you, and
how we’d watch the spring flowers bloom.
None of this is possible, because God has not chosen me, yet
He hasn’t given me an opportunity to be a mommy.
Every night, I lay in bed
Thoughts of you ponder in my head.
I hold closely the man I love,
This man deserves the chance to be a daddy.
I picture him holding you close & the three of us so happy.
Although you are not here,
I already love you so dear.
Everyday I dream of what it would be like
to hold a baby of my own,
Every tear that runs down my face is another day gone wrong.
I walk in town to see women with their beautiful bellies,
My friends announce they’re pregnant now,
And, I smile – I am happy for them
But truthfully I am burning inside.
The hurt, the pain, I try to hide –
But still I can’t understand why?!?
Every night, I dream, I dream of daddy, mommy, and you
I dream of vacations, weekends, and trips to the zoo,
I dream of your hands, your feet, your fingers, and toes,
I picture your lips, your eyes, your nose,
I think of what your first day at school will be like,
I think of teaching you to ride your first bike.
I dream of reading your favorite stories at night,
I dream of holding you in my arms so tight.
I imagine all of these things but, the I wake realize it isn’t real,
That is when it is heartache and pain that I feel.
If only God would bless me,
I would surely love to hold our first baby.