Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I feel.....

Seems like lately it always feels like we are the only couple on earth suffering from infertility. You hear and read that millions of people are going through infertility treatments but yet where are they? Your cousin got pregnant after (oops!) drinking too much one night; your co-worker tried for an agonizing three months before it finally happened to her; and all your friends are either pregnant or having baby number two, three or four. If there are millions and millions who suffer from infertility, it certainly feels like they are living somewhere else.
I feel jealous.
I feel bitter and envious.
I feel like everyone is pregnant but me (including your dog, goats, heck even the chickens have great eggs but nope not me).
I feel angry, disappointed and frustrated.
I feel hopeless, then hopeful, then hopeless again.
I feel heartbroken, emotionally-drained and desperate.
I feel discouraged, and exhausted.
I feel like I can’t look at that toilet paper even one more time.
I feel like I'm getting high on Folic Acid.
I feel like I see the transvaginal wand more than my husband.
I feel like I will go crazy if my fertility clinic doesn’t call me back by 3pm.
I feel like I know more about cervical mucus than a fertility specialist.
I feel like (’ve had more unprotected sex than an immature teenager.
But I also feel calm and strong and determined.
And although I might feel lonely going through this infertility adventure, I know that I am definitely not alone. 

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